she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
