Soap is not a condiment
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
