Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
