Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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