I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
