it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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