dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
