That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize