I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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