We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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