I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
