But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
