why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
