I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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