I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
