the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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