Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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