His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
