i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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