A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
