Having a random hookup so left but love u
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize