Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
