my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
