If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
