you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
