just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
