so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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