oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
