Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
