Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize