It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
