We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
