my mouth tastes like poor choices
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
They are going to name an STD after you.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
