i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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