Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just gift wrapped bread.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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