just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
