how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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