I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
