He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
