I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
