u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
