we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
