: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I love having hate sex.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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