Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
