did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize