Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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