I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
