you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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