I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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