It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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