We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
