I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
