She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Randomize
