Barsexuality is the new black.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
