We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i dont even know how to be here
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
