After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize