we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize