ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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