Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
