i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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