Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
