google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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