I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
