Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I have aggressive nipples.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
