Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
