Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
