I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
