I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
