i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
