I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
