She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Are my feet made of real feet?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
