so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
