Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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