i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
