turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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