Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
