Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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