he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize