You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
