no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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