just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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